denatonium

Every time I think I'm finally over this bullshit of "obsessing" over you and remembering you and thinking about you.. You always reappear in my dreams and start the "obsession" all over again.

Am I that lonely? That you won't leave me alone? That you won't leave my thoughts? Everything I do I'm constantly imagining you there. It's been how many years.. why won't my mind just shut up? It's starting to become constant, habitual. and we can't have that. I can't have that.


In my dream that I don't remember all that well anymore... You were there for some reason that I can't fathom. My cousin was there too, even stranger. But the weirdest thing were the two kids that were with us. I have no idea who they were or why they were there, but we were watching over them I guess. It was at my house?? You had some embarrassing back tattoos, which is pretty out of character for you I'd think. But what would I know really? Anyway, you were lying in bed with the two kids and moved over to make room for me anddddd really I can't remember anything else. I know some other shit went down but I just don't remember now. I remember being annoyed that I woke up to find it was just a dream...


Why you? I mean really.. it could be anyone. So, why you? Always you. It makes no sense. I went years without thinking about you or remembering you or caring about your existence. So why? And why now...

I've been lonely all this time. Nothing has changed. Except for the fact that thoughts of you just won't leave me alone... What started this? That I don't remember either.


The loneliness is all consuming...